Why Some People Bounce Back. And Others Stay Stuck

Susan Charlesworth

21 Mar 2025 — 2 min read

I used to believe resilience was about toughness. That bouncing back meant pushing through, keeping going, and never letting setbacks get to you.

But that’s not it.

Resilience isn’t about ignoring failure, rejection, or uncertainty. It’s about responding and adapting to them.

It is natural to feel self doubt when you hit setbacks. But obstacles don’t mean you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.

Setbacks are part of the process, not proof you're failing.

Let's frame things differently.

A promotion you didn’t get? Instead of “I wasn’t good enough,” think, “What can I learn from this?”

A difficult project that didn’t go to plan? Instead of “That was a disaster,” ask, “What will I do differently next time?”

It’s a small but powerful shift: Setbacks are feedback, not failure.

This difference in framing is at the heart of Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset. In her research, Dweck found that people with a growth mindset believe their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. Those with a "fixed mindset" believe their abilities are static.

Dweck's studies show that individuals with a growth mindset are far more resilient in the face of setbacks. She observed students responding to challenging problems. Those with a growth mindset saw the difficulty as an opportunity to learn and improve, while those with a fixed mindset felt threatened and discouraged, attributing their struggles to a lack of inherent ability.

How to become more resilient

When setbacks happen, here’s three ways to build resilience without just “powering through”.

Control what you can, let go of the rest: Not everything is within your control. Don’t waste energy worrying about things you can’t change, focus on what you can.
Reframe the Setback: Instead of “I failed,” try:

• What did I learn?

• What’s the next best step?

• What would I tell a friend in this situation?

Build and use your network: Resilient people don’t go it alone. They have strong relationships, seek feedback, and lean on support when needed.

Finally, we don’t have to constantly be resilient.

If you’re always pushing through, adapting, and absorbing setbacks without rest you could end up exhausted and burnt-out.

Cultivating a growth mindset can help you re-frame rest from “I’m not enough, I have to work harder”, to “I’ve not achieved my goal yet, but it will come in time, I can take a break”.

Use this break to:

Set boundaries so you’re not constantly drained.
Delegate tasks and ask for help. Don’t take on everything alone.
Give yourself recovery time and come back stronger.

Next month in Launchpad, we're covering Stress Management

If you’re navigating setbacks at work, balancing high-pressure responsibilities, or feeling stretched thin, we’re focusing on stress management inside Launchpad next month.

We’ll cover: